Tormenting without Knowing

“Yan lang grade mo? Ano ba naman yan.”

“Consistent honor ka naman dati, anong nangyari sa’yo?”

Buti pa si … DL. Bakit hindi mo tularan yun?”

Hindi mo kakayanin yan.”

“Parang yan lang.”

“Wala kang kasing hina makaintindi.” 

“Ganyang course kukuhanin mo? Anong mapapala mo d’yan?

 

Ilan lamang ‘yan sa mga salita na madalas nating marinig mula sa mga taong nakapaligid sa atin, mga salitang para sa kanila ay balewala o minsan ay biro lang. Nakalulungkot isipin na ang ganitong sitwasyon ay nararanasan ng marami sa atin partikular na sa mga kabataang mag aaral.

Lingid sa kaalaman ng marami, ang mga ganitong pananalita ay labis na nakapagdudulot ng sakit sa damdamin. Hindi nila alam sa bawat pagsasabi nila nito, natatatak ito sa isip at matagal mabura o kung minsan pa, hindi na nakakalimutan. Hindi rin nila namamalayan na nakakasakit na sila ng sobra. Akala nila okay lang.  Ito ay tila isang bangungot na paulit-ulit na bumabalik sa isipan ng tao na nagdudulot ng ‘di magandang pressure, kawalan lalo ng tiwala sa sarili, kawalan ng gana upang magpatuloy, pakiramdam ng pagkakulang sa gusto at expectation ng iba at iba pang mga epekto sa emosyonal niyang estado.

tormenting-without-knowing

Ayon naman sa ilan, dapat ituring bilang hamon o inspirasyon ang ganitong mga bagay.  Sa aking palagay, maaari naman nga itong maging motibasyon upang mas pagbutihin pang lalo ng isang tao ang kanyang ginagawa. Dipende  sa taong nakakatanggap ng ganitong salita kung paano nila ‘to dadalhin. Para sa akin kung nadala lang sa pressure at expectation ang isang tao hindi niya lubos na maisasapuso kung anong gagawin niya. Siguro oo, pero matagal na panahon bago tuluyang mahalin kung anong desisyon ang kaniyang ginawa. Yung pagkakaroon ng pakiramdam na hindi mo naaabot yung expectation ng tao sa buhay mo, kahit hindi sila magsabi meron ka pa ring pakiramdam ng pagkukulangAnd you start to have this self-doubt.

Masarap makamtan ang tagumpay at gawin ang gusto natin, ngunit higit na masarap makamit at gawin ‘to nang kasama ang mga taong sumusuporta at malalapit sa atin. At para naman sa’yo, sa’yo na nagbabasa nito, kung nararanasan mo ‘to, ‘wag mong iparanas sa iba. Be careful with the words you use towards others. Hindi lahat ng tao ay parepareho. Minsan nakakasakit at bumbuo na pala tayo ng masamang pakiramdam [ibang term parang nang d-down ganon] sa ibang tao ng hindi natin namamalayan.

Para sa’yo ulit na nagbabasa at pakiramdam mo eh nakakaranas ka nito… at para rin sa mga tingin nila ay ganito sila sa iba.

Magpatawad (o humingi ng tawad) – Ang pinakamabisang lunas sa lahat ng ‘di pagkakaunawaan. Subukan nating ipabatid sa mga taong nakapaligid sa atin na tayo ay nasasaktan at naaapektuhan ka sa mga sinasabi nila. Mayroong mga bagay talaga na kung minsan ay hindi nila malalaman kung hindi natin ipaaalam. Hindi kailanman naging pagkakamali ang tanggapin na tayo ay nasasaktan at hindi rin mali na sabihin ang nararamdaman natin. Mas masarap sa pakiramdam na nasasabi mo ang nararamdaman mo.

Appreciate – Imulat sana natin ang ating mga mata hindi lamang sa kanilang mga kamalian at kakulangan, kun’di mas lalo na sa kanilang pagsusumikap na magtagumpay sa kabila ng mga bagay na yaon at paghihirap. Kahit simpleng pagbati lamang sa maliit na bagay na kanyang nakakamit ay malaking tulong na upang mabuo sa kanya ang tiwala sa sarili, lakas ng loob, at tapang upang tahakin ang landas patungo sa mas malaking tagumpay na inaasam. Hindi natin alam ang pinagdaanan at naramdaman nila. Appreciate the smallest thing and achievement they had. Nagiging motivation nila yan, believe me.

Bawat tao ay magkakaiba – Ang bawat tao na nilikha ng Diyos ay may angking sariling talento. Kung kaya’t mabatid nawa rin natin na hindi lahat ng tao ay magiging magaling sa larangang nais natin para sa kanila. Kahit ang kambal ay hindi natin maaaaring ikumpara sa isa’t isa, sapagkat maaaring ang kalakasan ng isa ay ang kahinaan naman ng isa. Ang tadhana natin ay magkakaiba. Hindi dahil dito umunlad ang iba ay dito na rin uunlad ang marami. 

O sige na, ‘wag ka na mahiya. Kausapin mo na at ipadama mo kung gaano ka kaproud sa kanya. Say how proud you are. Not just now, but every time they do and achieve something. If they achieved something congratulate them, if they failed, still congratulate them. They did their best.

Life will not be easy on us, so let’s be stronger and do not loose faith. 

Tips to Overcome Shyness

Being shy is one characteristic that becomes a major hindrance in a person’s life. Shyness is the feeling of apprehension, lack of comfort, or awkwardness especially when a person is around other people. This “problem” is very hard to overcome because it somehow became a part of us since we are young.

We have received a story submission from one of our readers. According to 24 [codename], ang hirap maging mahiyain, sagabal  sa lahat.

To 24:

“Maraming Salamat sa pagbabahagi ☺ Maraming dahilan kung bakit tayo nahihiya pero madami ring pwedeng gawing dahilan para i-overcome at hindi gawing sagabal ‘to. Sometimes being shy takes away opportunities and sometimes this becomes a barrier, this blocks people. We can’t  also express what we feel, tell ideas and thoughts about something and who we really are. Shyness limits us in many things. We cannot show our full potential (most of the time) because shyness holds us back. This also affects the people around us and how we communicate and behave around them.  Don’t be a wallflower, be a social butterfly.  It feels good to be able to express our thoughts and views. Gradually, try to over come it. You will feel better. There are all sorts of reasons and there are ways to look onto it positively .” — Taga Payo 

We also prepared some tips and ways that you may try in your life in order to overcome shyness.

1. Name it. Try to eliminate it.

The very first step is to list down all the worries and jitters that triggers your shyness. Name them, and try to plan how are you going to eliminate them.

tips-to-avoid-shyness

2. Be confident. (but not over confident)

Having self confidence will somehow give you strength to face people and do things you want. Confidence comes through learning, practice, and mastery.

Let’s take for example a student who wants to join a singing contest will keep on practicing until he masters his song piece. So during the contest proper, he will have the confidence to sing his heart out because he knows that he is well prepared.

3. Accept that we may sometimes fail.

One of the major factors that trigger us to be shy is a failure. We are living in a world where in people around us have so many expectations for us, that’s why when we fail, we tend to lose our self trust and starting to think that we cannot do this, we cannot do that.

Accepting that we will really experience failure will help us to continue life with the same level of confidence we have. Remember, failure is the best stepping stone towards success. It’s not about your failure that really matters, it’s about how you stand and rise again from it.

4. Talk

This means participating in small talks with people, try to communicate with them and meet new friends. There are seven billion people on this planet. You’re not expected to like or be liked by all of them. However, it’s for sure that there are people who will you and will care for you.

5. Try new things. Get out of your comfort zone.

Part of overcoming shyness is about developing confidence in several areas of your life and not letting anxiety, fear of failure, fear of rejection, or fear of humiliation gets in your way. Also, trying new things will make those uncomfortable situations part of your comfort zone.

6. Be proud of who you are.

A song once said, “I’m beautiful in my way ’cause God makes no mistakes“.

You know your capabilities, you know your weaknesses, and you know who you really are. Everyone has their own beauty and as long as you are not doing anything wrong, there is nothing to be ashamed of.

Welcome to The Pinoy Wall

What is The Pinoy Wall?

The Pinoy Wall (TPW) is like a “payong kaibigan” blog wherein you may send your stories about love, problems, and other things you want to share with us and we will try to give you some advices that you could consider to at least lessen the worries you have.

We will also showcase here our Filipino culture, traits and all the other Pinoy characteristics and trends that will surely be relatable for you.

What is the story behind TPW?

Read more…

Welcome to The Pinoy Wall!

What is The Pinoy Wall?

The Pinoy Wall (TPW) is like a “payong kaibigan” blog wherein you may send your stories about love, problems, and other things you want to share with us and we will try to give you some advices that you could consider to at least lessen the worries you have.

We will also showcase here our Filipino culture, traits and all the other Pinoy characteristics and trends that will surely be relatable for you.

What is the story behind TPW?

We decided to start this blog because we want to help other people by being a friend to them that will listen to their stories and will try to give good advices.

Just like other people we’ve experienced several struggles and challenges in life. The learning from those trials helped us to become a stronger person today.

We might not guarantee to give you the advices you want, but rest assured that we will try to give you the best we could give based on our experiences.

Share us your story

DISCLAIMER: All advises given are from the moderator’s own point of view and solely based on the available details given to them by the sender.

The Pinoy Wall