Minahal ka nga ba?

Naramdaman mo ba nung kayo pang dalawa? Nakita mo ba sa kanyang mga mata? Tanging kayo lamang dalawa ang makasasagot ng katanungan kung minahal ka nga ba niyang talaga. Minsan may mga katanungan na alam natin ang kasagutan pero nagtatalo sa ating isipan kung ‘yon nga ba ang katotohanan. Sa mga panahong naging kayo sa tingin ko ay minahal ka rin n’ya Jac

Laging may dalawang side sa isang istorya. That person would not stay or at least care for you if walang love totally. Ang hirap sabihin kung sino ang may mali at kung minahal ka nga ba. Ikaw lamang ang tanging makasasagot niyan mula sa mga alaala na pinagsamahan ni’yong dalawa.

Hangga’t wala kayong maayos na closure; Hangga’t nasa stage ka pa kung saan  mayroon ka pang sama ng loob, magiging mahirap talaga ang bawat araw na darating.

Aminin man natin o hindi, mahirap magdesisyon, mahirap mag-move forward kung mayroon pang hindi malinaw sa’yo. Kung mayroon pang mga tanong na naghihintay ng mga kasagutan, mga bagay na sobrang labo at gusto mong malinawan.

Kung maaari, subukan mong makipag usap sa kanya hindi para makipagbalikan kundi upang malaman mo yung mga kasagutan sa mga tanong sa isipan mo. “The truth will set you free”, masakit ‘man minsan ang katotohanan pero ito yung daan para gumaan yung bigat na nadarama mo.

Mahirap maalis yung mga hindi magagandang alaala na dulot niya, mahirap mag move on. Pero try to get your self into engaging activities. Make your self busy. Never ever ever lock your self up on your room para magmukmok. Lumabas ka. Enjoy with your friends. Pagbutihin mo pang lalo yung mga bagay na ginagawa mo. 

Iba’t-iba tayo ng paraan para maka-move on. Iba-iba rin ang time frame ng tao sa pag m-move on. Merong nagagawa ito within 3 months (3 months rule) and some for a loooooong time. No one can dictate us on how and when we should move on. Mismong sarili lang natin ang makakagawa. With the help of others maybe and maybe not. Small steps lang. Sabi nga nila a little progress is still a progress. Kaya don’t pressure your self, mas lalo kang matatagalan. Kung ano mang nakasakit sa’yo wag mo ng balik-balikan pa. ‘Di mo kailangang magmadali, pero kailangan mong tanggapin na may mga bagay talaga na hindi para saatin, mga tao na kung minsan ay kailangan na nating palayain. Unti- unti lang at darating rin ‘yung time na masasabi mong:

Okay na ko, tanggap ko na. Napatawad na rin kita.

Sometimes may mga darating sa buhay natin na akala natin sila na yung para sa atin. We tend to confine ourselves sa pagmamahal sa maling tao kung kaya’t hindi na natin nabubuksan ang ating puso para sa mga tunay na  nagmamahal sa atin.

Palayain natin ang ating sarili mula sa kalungkutan, sama ng loob at mga katanungan. Alamin natin ang katotohanan, tanggapin; at darating ang oras na kaya na nating harapin nang may ngiti ang kinabukasan.

“Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him, and He will act.” – Psalm 37:5

DISCLAIMERWe are not trained psychologists or licensed professionals. We’re just average folks who tries to listen with your story and give you  friendly advice. All the opinions written here are personal opinions of the authors and solely based on the limited data given to us.   

FRIENDZONED – SMP 2.0 Samahan ng mga Martir sa Pag-ibig

From codename “Friendzoned”

“May kaibigan ako for almost 2 years now, dahil sobrang close namin I fell for him, wala akong magagawa we’re in the same circle of friends eh. All I do is go with the flow. I know from the start na di siya magkakagusto saken kasi open siya ng konti saken, he shared his lovelife sa akin lang even if we have so many friends. I expected, yes. Wala eh we’re just partners in everything but I guess not in love. Mahal ko siya but I just can’t keep myself from falling in love with him even more although I know he loves someone else. Di ko nga alam kung sila na nung best friend niya eh. Pero lagi niyang sinasabi na sila. Best buds pa din naman kami ngayon. We still help each other in any way we can. I met new guys na naging kaclose ko but it’s still him I love. He’s definitely my first love. Martir ako sa kanya. I will do eveything for him. Di niya ako kayang mahalin and that’s okay. At least we’re friends pa din and I still love him. Di ko alam kung hanggang kelan but now, I just can’t let him go, not now. Di ko pa kayang magmove on.”

Some of us may already experienced to have a crush on a friend. Hindi lang sa friend na basta “friend” lang, kundi minsan sa sobrang close friend pa at kadalasan kayo pa yung palaging magkasama o magkatuwang sa bawat gawain. Hi Friendzoned! This is for you. 🙂

Well, sabi ng iba life is a matter of choice daw. God destined us for someone, but since we are created with freedom choice natin kung kanino tayo mai-inlove, kung doon ba sa nakasulat sa tadhana natin o sa iba… Choice rin natin if we will let ourselves continue to fall sa isang tao, maaaring hindi natin hawak na bigla nalang tayong mahulog sa kanya, pero may magagawa tayo to try na mapigilan yun.

Sabi nga sa isang movie line, “may mga babaeng gine-girlfriend at may mga babaeng hanggang kaibigan lang.” Same for the boys. May mga lalaking bino-boyfriend at merong mga hanggang kaibigan lang din. Minsan we were just influenced by some happenings na rin, like your friends “kantyaw“, and all those “pinagsamahan, memories and everything” kung kaya’t imbis na mapigilan ay lalo lang tayong nahuhulog.

Kaso hindi mo maiiwasan at darating at darating pa rin ang pagkakataon kung saan maiipit tayo sa pagitan ng “gusto ko siya” pero “ayokong masira yung pagkakaibigan namin”. Well good thing is choice rin natin if we will keep the friendship or move up the notch a little higher and be a living proof of those overrated friends-turn-to-lovers stories. So yes, hindi lahat ng magkaibigan na nagkainlovean at nagkaaminan ay nasira ang pagkakaibigan. Gayunpaman, marami rin ang mga magkaibigan, na nagka-inlovean at nag iwasan na ng tuluyan.

Some are ready to join the SMP o ang Samahan ng mga Martir sa Pag-ibig. Kaya nilang tiisin at kimkimin ang sakit ng one sided love. If you’ll ask why maybe the only answer is because they are happy. That person they love makes them happy and maybe they also find peace and they fell at ease when they are together. Their heart is happy whenever they are with that person. And please let’s not judge them. Iba-iba tayo ng source of happiness, kung minsan nga lang yung happiness na ‘yon ay may kalakip ding sakit.

But when will it be enough? Will it ever end? And bakit nga ba nagkaganon? It’s very different for every person. Because, some may have got the wrong signal/s. At dito nagsisimula ang tanong kung sino nga ba ang may kasalanan? Kung sino ang paasa? At kung sino ang mukang ewan dahil umasa? O dapat ba kasi ay hindi nalang masyadong naging caring at mabait? And the list goes on.

Sa sitwasyon mo kung saan sinasabi niya na may girlfriend na siya ay mahirap talaga, alam kong at the back of your mind inasam mo rin na sana maging kayong dalawa pero at “for now” mas pinili mo yung safer choice kung saan magpapatuloy yung pagkakaibigan ninyong dalawa.

Pero hanggang kailan? Kagaya ng sinabi mong, “I just can’t let him go, not now“.  Alam kong alam mo na in some point sa future ay darating yung time na kailangan mo nang mamili nang final answer kung sasabihin mo ba sa kanya at ipaglalaban yung pagmamahal mo o habang buhay mo na lamang na itatago kasama ng masasayang alaala ninyo yung nararamdaman mo para sa kanya. At hahayaang dalhin ng paglipas ng panahon ang pag-lipas din ng nararamdaman mo para sa kanya.

And again my friend, that is a choice you have to make. It’s tough. And it’s only you, yes you, who can rewrite the stars… joke. But jokes are half meant. Ikaw lang talaga ang makakapag-decide on what you want to do. Kahit anong sabihin ng mga taong nasa paligid mo, ikaw pa rin ang may hawak ng magiging desisyon mo.

Regarding sa pag momove on, mahirap talaga, at hindi yung label kung naging “kayo ba” ang nagpapahirap dun, kundi yung fact na hanggang doon na lang talaga kayo; yung fact na magiging alaala na lang pagtagal yung mga pinagsamahan ninyo noon.

Well mahirap pero maaaring mabawasan. Try to focus yourself sa ibang mga bagay, kung nagaaral ka pa ngayon subukan mong ituon pang lalo yung oras mo sa pagaaral o pagpapabuti sa kung ano mang ginagawa mo; try to change yung nakasanayan mo, unti-unti subukan mong bawasan pansamantala kahit kaunti yung mga bagay na nag uugnay sa inyong dalawa. Magiging mahirap lalo na kung halos araw-araw kayong nagkikita at nagkakasama, pero maaari etong maging way para “maka-move on” ka na; lastly tanggapin mo sa sarili mo na wala siyang feelings para sayo, masakit pero kapag tunay mo nang natanggap sa iyong puso ay unti-unti na ring magsusubside ang feelings mo para sa kanya. Two in one, nabawasan o nawala yung feelings mo para sa kanya and at the same time  hindi siya nawala sayo bilang kaibigan mo.

Bata ka pa, marami pang mangyayari. May mga tao pang darating sa buhay mo, at mayroon din namang mga aalis. No one knows what will happen tomorrow, pero naniniwala ako “that your future is somehow connected sa naging desisyon mo ngayon“. Believe it or not, mayroon pang mas na mga challenges pa ang darating, mapa-love life at sa buhay mo mismo.

Dalawa lang din yan, maybe hindi talaga kayo ang para isa’t-isa o hindi lang ito ang tamang oras para sa inyong dalawa. 

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. “1 Corinthians 13:4-8 ESV 

DISCLAIMERWe are not trained psychologists or licensed professionals. We’re just average folks who tries to listen with your story and give you  friendly advice. All the opinions written here are personal opinions of the authors and solely based on the limited data given to us.   

can’t have enough planners

The hype on planners/journals/sketchbooks are ON. O-N. Many are getting hooked and excited with the new designs for the year 2019. It is truly very exciting! Yes? Yes! I know, I know. Sobrang nakaka-excite talaga ang mga bagong designs. Mas nakaka-excite pa lalo dahil available sa ating local malls and book stores ang mga ito.

One of them you may have seen on all social networking sites. Shared, liked and ranted about. It is  Limelight’s – LLGT Planner 2019. One of the very hyped 2019 planner/journal notebook. They are a local brand. A little chika about the brand’s [Limelight] past products first. They mainly produce journal and sketch books. Their journal notebooks and sketch books

limelight-nbs-planner
https://www.facebook.com/Limelight.ph/

are popular among artist and journal users. Their notebooks are recommended because of its quality. Bukod sa kaledad nilang products, kilala rin sila dahil sa abo’t kaya nilang presyo.

365-planner-limelight

 

And just this November they release a 2019 planner and it instantly became a big hit. I can attest to that. My own LLGT planner was the only one left when I got it and when I visited another NBS store it was already sold out as well as in the stationery section. This beautiful, functional and affordable planner comes in five (5) different colors:

  • White
  • Black
  • Gray
  • Rose Gold
  • Mint Green

 

 

You can get this beaut in any National Book Store and SM Stationery nationwide for only Php 299.75! It’s is a good choice if you are just starting on planners and journals and if you just want to try (and if you are on a tight budget).

But is it really worth the hype? Looks can be deceiving, sabi nga nila. This A5 size notebook won’t deceive you. It has smooth dotted pages.  A hardbound cover. A pen holder where you can slip your favorite pen and a pocket to store your fave sticker and other journal-ing things. And fyi it has weight.

Take a look on what’s inside the LLGT Planner 2019.

 

 

Notebook lover? Journal user? Artist? Planner user? (but doesn’t have that “many plans”) Or just experimenting and exploring planners? Just a stationery addict?

Tormenting without Knowing

“Yan lang grade mo? Ano ba naman yan.”

“Consistent honor ka naman dati, anong nangyari sa’yo?”

Buti pa si … DL. Bakit hindi mo tularan yun?”

Hindi mo kakayanin yan.”

“Parang yan lang.”

“Wala kang kasing hina makaintindi.” 

“Ganyang course kukuhanin mo? Anong mapapala mo d’yan?

 

Ilan lamang ‘yan sa mga salita na madalas nating marinig mula sa mga taong nakapaligid sa atin, mga salitang para sa kanila ay balewala o minsan ay biro lang. Nakalulungkot isipin na ang ganitong sitwasyon ay nararanasan ng marami sa atin partikular na sa mga kabataang mag aaral.

Lingid sa kaalaman ng marami, ang mga ganitong pananalita ay labis na nakapagdudulot ng sakit sa damdamin. Hindi nila alam sa bawat pagsasabi nila nito, natatatak ito sa isip at matagal mabura o kung minsan pa, hindi na nakakalimutan. Hindi rin nila namamalayan na nakakasakit na sila ng sobra. Akala nila okay lang.  Ito ay tila isang bangungot na paulit-ulit na bumabalik sa isipan ng tao na nagdudulot ng ‘di magandang pressure, kawalan lalo ng tiwala sa sarili, kawalan ng gana upang magpatuloy, pakiramdam ng pagkakulang sa gusto at expectation ng iba at iba pang mga epekto sa emosyonal niyang estado.

tormenting-without-knowing

Ayon naman sa ilan, dapat ituring bilang hamon o inspirasyon ang ganitong mga bagay.  Sa aking palagay, maaari naman nga itong maging motibasyon upang mas pagbutihin pang lalo ng isang tao ang kanyang ginagawa. Dipende  sa taong nakakatanggap ng ganitong salita kung paano nila ‘to dadalhin. Para sa akin kung nadala lang sa pressure at expectation ang isang tao hindi niya lubos na maisasapuso kung anong gagawin niya. Siguro oo, pero matagal na panahon bago tuluyang mahalin kung anong desisyon ang kaniyang ginawa. Yung pagkakaroon ng pakiramdam na hindi mo naaabot yung expectation ng tao sa buhay mo, kahit hindi sila magsabi meron ka pa ring pakiramdam ng pagkukulangAnd you start to have this self-doubt.

Masarap makamtan ang tagumpay at gawin ang gusto natin, ngunit higit na masarap makamit at gawin ‘to nang kasama ang mga taong sumusuporta at malalapit sa atin. At para naman sa’yo, sa’yo na nagbabasa nito, kung nararanasan mo ‘to, ‘wag mong iparanas sa iba. Be careful with the words you use towards others. Hindi lahat ng tao ay parepareho. Minsan nakakasakit at bumbuo na pala tayo ng masamang pakiramdam [ibang term parang nang d-down ganon] sa ibang tao ng hindi natin namamalayan.

Para sa’yo ulit na nagbabasa at pakiramdam mo eh nakakaranas ka nito… at para rin sa mga tingin nila ay ganito sila sa iba.

Magpatawad (o humingi ng tawad) – Ang pinakamabisang lunas sa lahat ng ‘di pagkakaunawaan. Subukan nating ipabatid sa mga taong nakapaligid sa atin na tayo ay nasasaktan at naaapektuhan ka sa mga sinasabi nila. Mayroong mga bagay talaga na kung minsan ay hindi nila malalaman kung hindi natin ipaaalam. Hindi kailanman naging pagkakamali ang tanggapin na tayo ay nasasaktan at hindi rin mali na sabihin ang nararamdaman natin. Mas masarap sa pakiramdam na nasasabi mo ang nararamdaman mo.

Appreciate – Imulat sana natin ang ating mga mata hindi lamang sa kanilang mga kamalian at kakulangan, kun’di mas lalo na sa kanilang pagsusumikap na magtagumpay sa kabila ng mga bagay na yaon at paghihirap. Kahit simpleng pagbati lamang sa maliit na bagay na kanyang nakakamit ay malaking tulong na upang mabuo sa kanya ang tiwala sa sarili, lakas ng loob, at tapang upang tahakin ang landas patungo sa mas malaking tagumpay na inaasam. Hindi natin alam ang pinagdaanan at naramdaman nila. Appreciate the smallest thing and achievement they had. Nagiging motivation nila yan, believe me.

Bawat tao ay magkakaiba – Ang bawat tao na nilikha ng Diyos ay may angking sariling talento. Kung kaya’t mabatid nawa rin natin na hindi lahat ng tao ay magiging magaling sa larangang nais natin para sa kanila. Kahit ang kambal ay hindi natin maaaaring ikumpara sa isa’t isa, sapagkat maaaring ang kalakasan ng isa ay ang kahinaan naman ng isa. Ang tadhana natin ay magkakaiba. Hindi dahil dito umunlad ang iba ay dito na rin uunlad ang marami. 

O sige na, ‘wag ka na mahiya. Kausapin mo na at ipadama mo kung gaano ka kaproud sa kanya. Say how proud you are. Not just now, but every time they do and achieve something. If they achieved something congratulate them, if they failed, still congratulate them. They did their best.

Life will not be easy on us, so let’s be stronger and do not loose faith. 

Tips to Overcome Shyness

Being shy is one characteristic that becomes a major hindrance in a person’s life. Shyness is the feeling of apprehension, lack of comfort, or awkwardness especially when a person is around other people. This “problem” is very hard to overcome because it somehow became a part of us since we are young.

We have received a story submission from one of our readers. According to 24 [codename], ang hirap maging mahiyain, sagabal  sa lahat.

To 24:

“Maraming Salamat sa pagbabahagi ☺ Maraming dahilan kung bakit tayo nahihiya pero madami ring pwedeng gawing dahilan para i-overcome at hindi gawing sagabal ‘to. Sometimes being shy takes away opportunities and sometimes this becomes a barrier, this blocks people. We can’t  also express what we feel, tell ideas and thoughts about something and who we really are. Shyness limits us in many things. We cannot show our full potential (most of the time) because shyness holds us back. This also affects the people around us and how we communicate and behave around them.  Don’t be a wallflower, be a social butterfly.  It feels good to be able to express our thoughts and views. Gradually, try to over come it. You will feel better. There are all sorts of reasons and there are ways to look onto it positively .” — Taga Payo 

We also prepared some tips and ways that you may try in your life in order to overcome shyness.

1. Name it. Try to eliminate it.

The very first step is to list down all the worries and jitters that triggers your shyness. Name them, and try to plan how are you going to eliminate them.

tips-to-avoid-shyness

2. Be confident. (but not over confident)

Having self confidence will somehow give you strength to face people and do things you want. Confidence comes through learning, practice, and mastery.

Let’s take for example a student who wants to join a singing contest will keep on practicing until he masters his song piece. So during the contest proper, he will have the confidence to sing his heart out because he knows that he is well prepared.

3. Accept that we may sometimes fail.

One of the major factors that trigger us to be shy is a failure. We are living in a world where in people around us have so many expectations for us, that’s why when we fail, we tend to lose our self trust and starting to think that we cannot do this, we cannot do that.

Accepting that we will really experience failure will help us to continue life with the same level of confidence we have. Remember, failure is the best stepping stone towards success. It’s not about your failure that really matters, it’s about how you stand and rise again from it.

4. Talk

This means participating in small talks with people, try to communicate with them and meet new friends. There are seven billion people on this planet. You’re not expected to like or be liked by all of them. However, it’s for sure that there are people who will you and will care for you.

5. Try new things. Get out of your comfort zone.

Part of overcoming shyness is about developing confidence in several areas of your life and not letting anxiety, fear of failure, fear of rejection, or fear of humiliation gets in your way. Also, trying new things will make those uncomfortable situations part of your comfort zone.

6. Be proud of who you are.

A song once said, “I’m beautiful in my way ’cause God makes no mistakes“.

You know your capabilities, you know your weaknesses, and you know who you really are. Everyone has their own beauty and as long as you are not doing anything wrong, there is nothing to be ashamed of.

Welcome to The Pinoy Wall

What is The Pinoy Wall?

The Pinoy Wall (TPW) is like a “payong kaibigan” blog wherein you may send your stories about love, problems, and other things you want to share with us and we will try to give you some advices that you could consider to at least lessen the worries you have.

We will also showcase here our Filipino culture, traits and all the other Pinoy characteristics and trends that will surely be relatable for you.

What is the story behind TPW?

Read more…

Welcome to The Pinoy Wall!

What is The Pinoy Wall?

The Pinoy Wall (TPW) is like a “payong kaibigan” blog wherein you may send your stories about love, problems, and other things you want to share with us and we will try to give you some advices that you could consider to at least lessen the worries you have.

We will also showcase here our Filipino culture, traits and all the other Pinoy characteristics and trends that will surely be relatable for you.

What is the story behind TPW?

We decided to start this blog because we want to help other people by being a friend to them that will listen to their stories and will try to give good advices.

Just like other people we’ve experienced several struggles and challenges in life. The learning from those trials helped us to become a stronger person today.

We might not guarantee to give you the advices you want, but rest assured that we will try to give you the best we could give based on our experiences.

Share us your story

DISCLAIMER: All advises given are from the moderator’s own point of view and solely based on the available details given to them by the sender.

The Pinoy Wall